'Tis the Season

I have a confession: I haven't been dieting. Or exercising. For, like, three months.

I know, I know. I am a disgrace. I'd be better off changing the name of my blog to "Welcome Back, Fat!" Except at last check, I'm down approximately eight pounds. (In your face, carbs!) I know that this isn't a big number, but for someone who steadily gains when she doesn't pay attention, I'm pretty pleased. Whatever the reason -- unconsciously choosing better foods, drinking (a little) less, the BM I had before stepping on the scale -- that small loss reminded me that it had been a while since I updated, and of an issue that's been on my mind: Weddings.

From lemonade flushes (don't ask) to simply switching to light beer, my engaged girlfriends have strange and wondrous ideas about weight loss. Personally, I don't see the need on their part, but I suppose when the biggest day of your life is looming -- seriously, in two months, I'll be the last single member of the GSC -- you worry about silly things like the right shade of pink or being unsightly in a size six. I worry with them, of course; as a maid of honor for one bride, and as a friend to all. Only rather than the horror of forgetting to invite an elderly aunt or running out of beer at the reception, my greatest concern is finding the perfect dress for every shower, bachelorette party and wedding I've been invited to in the coming months.

By my calculations, I need three dresses. Each has to be appropriate and fun, fit my budget and, most importantly, fit my frame. Yikes. This is a task that would probably overwhelm a normal-sized girl, let alone someone with my proportions. And then there are the wedding gifts to buy! But what are these too-broad shoulders good for, if not carrying burdens like shopping?