Guest Blog: Mike's Weight Loss Story

It’s eleven AM on a Sunday, the sun is stinging my eyes through the blinds as I lay in bed, causing me to wake and sit up. Boom! The hangover hits me like a freight train. I drag myself to the bathroom to vomit up the hamburgers or pizza I ate the night before in order to soak up the seven to ten drinks I had at the bar. My clothes smell like the smoking section at Denny’s. I skip breakfast for obvious reasons, down about five Advil, finish off the pack of six-dollar smokes and head back to bed until about two.

It has been three years since I was unfortunate enough to experience a morning like this. After ten years of drinking, overeating, smoking, feeling depressed and unsatisfied with life in general, I decided I was ruining my life. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not going to get all preachy and deny that a huge cheeseburger, stiff seven and seven and a smoke after can feel emotionally fulfilling. The problem is, aside from smoking (which should never be done), eating fast food and drinking in excess cannot lead to a healthy life.

I quit smoking cold turkey, stopped going out drinking by about 90% and began to follow a few simple steps. First, I completely removed regular soda out of my life. I know that one day soon the FDA will come out and tell us that sugar free soda is riddled with cancer causing agents, but I will cross that bridge when I get to it. I just cannot give up my diet orange soda. I also went a little further with the soda thing and quit caffeinated soda altogether. Doing so allowed me to sleep better which in turn allowed me to get up early enough for rule number two, eating breakfast. Every morning I eat something before I leave the house. Smoking always suppressed my appetite in the morning, which led to late night eating, and we all know that is bad. Rule three was the hardest part: no eating after eight at night. No snacks, no ice cream, etc. After dinner was complete, that was it for the night. The last rule was easier than I expected. I cut all food intake in half. I would literally order what I would normally order back in the good ole days, minus the mayonnaise (go for the mustard) and reduced cheese and bread to about one slice a day cutting my carb and sugar intake in half. By doing so I had results on the scale almost instantly. In the first few months of dieting, I lost thirty pounds, all with out any exercise plan. Exercise became the final step.

At one time, the only thing I hated worse than working out was being anywhere near a gym. In 2000, I attempted to complete a week at Gold’s Gym, but the big guys kissing their muscles was too much for me. At least that was what I told myself. Until I stopped smoking, started eating less and sleeping more, I had nowhere near the energy required to run on a treadmill, an elliptical machine or lift weights. It was a month or so of dieting and getting my overall mindset back on track before I could step foot in a gym. After the first week I was hooked, and I still am. The combination of working out every other day – thirty minutes on the treadmill, thirty minutes on various machines – and the diet was all it took. The weight just fell right off. Since this time last year, I have dropped from a thirty six waist to a twenty nine. I have lost sixty pounds and I am still losing. The best part about my approach was that it was slow and changed not only my appearance but my lifestyle. The chances that I may gain the weight back are less because of how I did it. I still eat what I want in moderation and my metabolism has been sped up enough that I can burn it off. I used to hate it when I heard people talk or read about their weight loss success, but now I am so glad I can. It is the best thing I have ever done.

Onward and downward!

Yesterday, my second day back on Medifast, was absolute torture. Not only was my body adjusting to fewer calories, it also was adjusting for "that time of the month." My brain, the poor dear, was straining under PMS and work stress. It took every ounce of self-control not to staple myself in the face and/or pick up the phone and call Domino's.

Four weeks ago, in the throes of the same feminine ailment, I would have... fine, I -did- call for pizza, breadsticks, french fries, and a 2-liter. I rationalized that while in this state, my body -needed- certain things -- mostly doughy things, cheesy things, things with a side of gravy -- and I was in complete denial about how these things contributed to my steady weight gain. (e.g. "What? I'm on my period. It's just water retention!")

Instead, yesterday, I powered through it. I shook my head to clear the vision of pizza, had another glass of water and got my work done. At home I let myself take a nap and after, rather than hole up with a bag of chips, I made a healthy dinner. Still let myself lay around and watch TV -- Hey! I'm on my period, ok?! -- but I didn't succumb to "the usual." To be honest, "the usual" hasn't really been working for me, from now on, I want my "usual" to include my health, emotional well-being and, of course, a cuter ass.

Hello, beautiful.

I am in the midst of crafting my comeback post. In the meantime, here's a hint of things to come:

Pile on the pounds.

After four Thanksgiving dinners in four days, it's no surprise I'm back in the mood to diet. Unlike my previous attempts, I've decided start things off with a stronger support system. So, I'm changing "Bye Bye, Backfat!" into a collaborative project.

From talking to them, I know I have friends, family and coworkers who struggle with the same issues I do: weight and how to lose it. However, the similarities end there. Their size, personalities, methods and goals couldn't be any more different, and I want to reflect that same diversity in this blog. Whether it's exercising, dieting or both (in my case, neither), I think it will help to work together. Not only will the contributors have a place to share, but their experiences will reach (and hopefully inspire) a much wider audience. This is my open call.

Ideally, you're in the process or on the brink of starting a diet or exercise program. Maybe you've got a regimen that's working for you at the gym, or you're a chocoholic trying to kick the habit or a Weight Watchers success story trying to maintain. As long as you're willing to take the journey together and share the results (twice a month, minimum), I'd love to hear your story.

If you'd like to contribute, please leave a comment on this post with your email address along with a little bit about yourself. I'll be sending follow-up emails this week.

Uh oh.

They are opening a Ben & Jerry's in Valley View in October.

Good news for locals, bad news for my waistline.

'Tis the Season

I have a confession: I haven't been dieting. Or exercising. For, like, three months.

I know, I know. I am a disgrace. I'd be better off changing the name of my blog to "Welcome Back, Fat!" Except at last check, I'm down approximately eight pounds. (In your face, carbs!) I know that this isn't a big number, but for someone who steadily gains when she doesn't pay attention, I'm pretty pleased. Whatever the reason -- unconsciously choosing better foods, drinking (a little) less, the BM I had before stepping on the scale -- that small loss reminded me that it had been a while since I updated, and of an issue that's been on my mind: Weddings.

From lemonade flushes (don't ask) to simply switching to light beer, my engaged girlfriends have strange and wondrous ideas about weight loss. Personally, I don't see the need on their part, but I suppose when the biggest day of your life is looming -- seriously, in two months, I'll be the last single member of the GSC -- you worry about silly things like the right shade of pink or being unsightly in a size six. I worry with them, of course; as a maid of honor for one bride, and as a friend to all. Only rather than the horror of forgetting to invite an elderly aunt or running out of beer at the reception, my greatest concern is finding the perfect dress for every shower, bachelorette party and wedding I've been invited to in the coming months.

By my calculations, I need three dresses. Each has to be appropriate and fun, fit my budget and, most importantly, fit my frame. Yikes. This is a task that would probably overwhelm a normal-sized girl, let alone someone with my proportions. And then there are the wedding gifts to buy! But what are these too-broad shoulders good for, if not carrying burdens like shopping?

A brulee brouhaha.

Step One: Go to the Ben & Jerry's Flavor Locator.

Step Two: Use the drop-down menu to select "Creme Brulee."

Step Three: Enter your zip code.

Step Four: "Find It!"

Step Five: If a store/Scoop Shop pops up, proceed to Step Six. If not, don't worry. Keep expanding the search radius until you get a hit.

Step Six: GO. EAT. CLIMAX. Then, thank god for creating cows, as well as two hippies with an insatiable sweet tooth. And don't forget to bring me back a pint, as a finder's fee.

I cannot tell you how badly I have wanted to taste this flavor... for, like, ever. It is not sold in Roanoke, and when I've been any place with a Scoop Shop, I've been told that it's no longer being made. (Obviously, those B&J employees were WRONG and/or LIARS, but I forgive them. I forgive them because they are one of the cogs that keeps the Ben & Jerry's machine running. And I forgive them because this ice cream makes me want to be a better person.) This weekend, my prayers were answered.

When I went into the store located in Carytown, I only looked at the posted list of flavors. I resigned myself to the fact that I would be limited to Cake Batter, or Chunky Monkey, or perhaps even the Coconut Seven Layer Bar that I had never seen/tasted. While I was deliberating, something called my attention to the cases in front of me. I think I wanted to see what Coconut Seven Layer Bar looks like, but it may also have been the death look I shot at the annoying thugette in line in front of me who insisted on singing along to Rihanna while tapping her three-inch long acrylic nails on the glass. Maybe it was fate. I don't know. I do know that when I looked down the first label that caught my eye caused my heart to stop momentarily and for my body, literally, to jump. (Matt can attest to this.) It was Creme Brulee. CREME BRULEE! The creamy custard ice cream with a crunchy burnt sugar ribbon that I had dreamed about for months on end was right there, separated from my mouth by frigid plexiglass alone. I asked to sample it, knowing full well that I'd have to order a whole scoop. (Free extra ice cream FTW!) After months of build-up in my mind and my mouth, the first bite was like foreplay. It was a seductive tease, offered on an achingly small popsicle stick, preparing my tongue and tastebuds for the ultimate consummation...

With that prelude, I will leave to your imagination the sensations I felt spooning every rich and creamy bite into my mouth, licking up the drops that fell onto my hands as it melted -- suffice to say that when we left, I had to go home and change my shirt as well as my underwear. It was as sublime an ice cream-eating experience as I've ever had, truly.

I am posting an image here, visual evidence to the art of B&J. (Next week: The Art of BJs.) Note that I used a berry sorbet to cut the richness of the Creme Brulee. Heavenly.



I know how this looks, guys. And honestly, I will eventually return to writing about how I'm trying to lose weight. For now, I suppose it is safe to say that this is just another nail in my Goliath casket.